I have a big problem.
I can’t focus.
Quite frankly, I suck at it.
I wrote one sentence of this blog post and then remembered that I wanted to take a few pictures of Milo:
And then I emailed Caleb our missions trip support letter.
And then I edited this picture:
And then I tried reading.
And then I realized that I needed to write out my testimony.
And then I went outside because I wanted to take pictures of the snow:
And then I remembered that I needed to email the missionary we are working with in Peru.
And now I am back where I started.
So far, this entire post has been psychotic & probably left you wondering why you’re still following me in the first place. (Hopefully because of my great writing and pretty pictures?)
For the past two days, I have been thinking about what I want this year to mean for me. I’ve seen a lot of great words thrown out there – intentionality, simplicity, brave, abide, rest. I truly want this year to have all of those things. And if I try hard enough, it probably will. But the thing I want to work the hardest on is my focus.
I want to focus on what’s most important to me (writing, student teaching, my health, my husband), and stop allowing meaningless things distract me (I’m talking to you, Facebook). Too much of my time this year has already been wasted on oversleeping, an embarrassing number of Friends episodes, and the incessant need to check my Instagram notifications every few minutes.
I know for a fact that this year is already jam-packed with amazing adventures:
- in March Caleb and I are leading a trip to Iquitos, Peru
- in May I GRADUATE COLLEGE
- and in July we are planning to take a family vacation to Ireland with my parents
My hope is that I will be able to focus on the moment at hand. I am grateful for social media, and the way I can use it to connect with the world, but sometimes it is the one thing that hinders me from it. It hinders me from finishing my assignments days before the deadline, instead of hours. It hinders me from conversations with Caleb about his day, and time spent outside running.
I love writing, but sometimes it has the same effect. I mentioned in a few other posts about being a perfectionist…and since then, that part of myself has not changed. I still stress about perfect grammar. I still re-read blog posts, and re-read them again, and
sometimes usually end up deleting them. I forgo precious time on something that is meaningless compared to cooking a nice meal for my hard working husband, or having conversations with Jesus.
I suppose my year of focus won’t be possible without the word priority. Not everything will stay in the same priority slot at all times. Sometimes Caleb will be below lesson planning, and other times he will be above. Most of all, I hope that this year will be a time where I actively place my time with Jesus first, above everything else.
2015 is truly the start of a new chapter for Caleb & I (graduation = freedom, am I right?), and is going to provide us with so many incredible memories.
I want to be sure to live it well.
What do you want to see change in yourself for this New Year?