Tonight I drove a familiar road. Winding and narrow, I’ve grown accustomed to the darkness and the emptiness that this road provides at nine p.m.

In the morning it’s congested with impatient businessmen and rowdy school buses, but as I drove tonight as I will the next few nights, I relished in the eery quiet.

I shoved a random disc into the CD player, and Sara Groves filled the car. First, “I know that you tore the veil so I could sit with you in person and hear what you’re saying, but right now, I think you’re whispering…” And then, “He’s always been faithful…”

No two songs could have explained this past year better than these.

Moments of fear surrounding our missions trip, uncertainty after graduation, and now, the unknown of the next step for us as a couple.

But God…

So faithful
So constant
So loving and so true
So powerful in all You do

He sees us. He knows us. He created us, remember?

Something I’ve come to learn is that I often get so caught up in praying for my needs, that I forget to pay attention to my surroundings; changing and molding as God begins to move.

He doesn’t always move with loud, clanging cymbals, but with small, quiet motions; building up to the crescendo where His will is finally brought to completion, and we are asked to take another step of faith for the next part of His plan.

You see, I’ve been asking for provision. I’ve been asking for a miracle check because I KNOW God can do that for us, but then Caleb quietly reminded me that God HAS in fact been providing for our needs. Slowly, but surely, He has doubled our income, and allowed us to make multiple loan payments. We have been faithful in our giving, and He has been faithful to provide us with financial stability. Our bank account shouldn’t belong to two young newlyweds, but it does.

Last night I started my monthly overnight babysitting job, and my room that is usually extremely cold, was extremely hot. I opened a window and prayed for a breeze. I took a cold shower and hoped my hair would cool me off. I woke up multiple times throughout the night to drink icy water, but only ended up hot and tired in the morning.

Then I arrived tonight and discovered that there had been a fan in my room the whole time.

How could I miss it?

May my need never distract me from the provision.

Sometimes we keep asking, and He’s already answered in the ways we need the most.

Look around you, and see what God has already done.

I’ve been reading through Mark Batterson’s prayer devotion, “Draw the Circle.”In one of the entries, he writes, “Sometimes we need to pray ‘get me out’ prayers. But sometimes we need to pray ‘get me through’ prayers. And we need the discernment to know when to pray what.”

Sometimes provision is in the form of necessary struggle rather than instant relief, and even that is better than a silent God.

Our hearts must be willing to accept it all, and to be thankful, above all else, that God is always in control.

2 thoughts on “.

  1. This was such a great post Kelly. I needed to read this tonight. Sometimes we focus so hard on the need that we miss seeing the provision! I know I’ve done that, just the other day actually. Thank you for sharing and being so open. It was such a blessing to read.

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